the party was nice because it was mostly only my friend group there and we did a lot of drugs (we started to snort mdma and some weed before arriving) i also did coke for the first time, and i tried to keep myself from drinking too much and keep myself alert because i knew i liked him and i originally didn't want to mess up or leave a bad impression about me to him, we talked for a while and we started to hug and cuddle, things escalated (we were only like kissing and i was already wet) and i decided fuck it, i want to sleep with him so we went upstairs and i told him i have never had sex before and he was really nice, he was like we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want, we can kiss and maybe touch and i was like no i want to do it and we did it, it was nice but neither of us finished.
i stayed over like until noon of the next day we saw a movie and a series, he was talking to me about his life (he even showed me pictures and the facebook of his family members and friends), the poetry he writes, i felt sorry for him because he had a quite sad life, he also told me he couldn't stop thinking about me after we meet the first time and that the party was just because he wanted to see me meet again, i was having a really good time with him, he was very affectionate, sweet and cuddly.
we had a date like two days after, we went to a park and then we were supposed to go to a museum but we end up at my apartment (because i was very distracted and we took the wrong metro direction and we end up kinda close to my house and it was going to rain too) and we had dinner and saw a movie and just sleep cuddling again, my cat liked him but was acting weird, at some point i woke up in his arms in the middle of the night and i saw his face sleeping peaceful and felt his warm body wrapped around me and i felt so happy, safe, full of joy and peace.
like the idiot i am i went on a shopping spree and brought new underwear, skin care stuff, and jewelry.
The next day he called and he told me something about having harmed a woman the day before but at that time when he called me he was very distressed and i couldn't even process or listen well to what he said i thought we were going to discuss it on the next date and i was going to see if i should block him or maybe i could help him (i know i'm dumb) but that date never came.
we were supposed to meet on sunday but he canceled me because he was really busy with papers and assignments.